The unification of two people, vowing to spend a lifetime together, be with each other, and stand by each other under any given circumstances is what marriage is all about. And the ceremony of this unification is known as Wedding Ceremony, one of the most beautiful pomp ever. Although the customs and rituals vary between cultures, religions, countries, ethnic groups, countries, and classes, the core notion of the celebration is an amalgamation of two souls to celebrate love for the rest of their lives.
Along with other obsessions like football, fish, sweets and Durga Puja, we Bengalis, get equally engrossed when it comes to a wedding or BIYE BAARI. An occasion characterized by not just the blushing bride or the gorgeous groom, but also the enthusiastic, excited family members and friends who all have a role to play.
It’s a sheer treat for the eyes and taste buds. From decorations with colorful flowers to the elaborate banquet, from the customs and rituals to the merrymaking associated with each of those customs, the extravagant celebration is an experience of a lifetime.
Starting from the onset with PAAKAA-DEKHA to ASHTAMANGALA it’s a journey in itself and what a beautiful one.
A traditional Bengali wedding core ceremony takes place over 4 days, along with few others here and there. The whole ceremony is divided into a few main sections, followed by one final ritual on the 8th day.
The onset of the wedding starts with PAAKAA KOTHA-or basically a confirmation of acceptance of the alliance by both the bride’s and groom’s respective families.
This is followed by ASHIRBAAD – where the elders bless the to be bride and groom, respectively and its conducted in respective houses, over 2 separate days and each attended by the other family. They are blessed with husk rice and trefoil(three-leaved grass) along with gold ornaments.
1st day: AAI-BURO BHAAT – marks the start of the ceremony. Held a day before the wedding it’s translated as a bachelor -rice – is the celebration of an elaborate meal relished for the final time as a bachelor, and PAAYESH is a must for this occasion.
There is also a traditional ceremony of AALTAA-PORANO and SHANKHA-POLAA PORANO on this day, whereby the to be bride adorns the traditional bangles called SHAANKHAA made of the conch shell and POLAA which is made of coral, and integral symbol of a married woman along with a red dye called AALTAA is applied to her feet and sometimes on the palms too but now its replaced by mehndi.
2nd day: MAIN WEDDING DAY:
DODHI MONGOL: On the day of the wedding the to-be bride and groom get up in the dawn and consumes a meal of curd and rice, after which along with the parents, the fasting starts till the wedding is over.
GAAYE HOLUD: This is a ceremony where odd numbers of a married woman – starting with 3 – grind turmeric, also known as HOLUD KOTA, while singing traditional songs and then anoint the to be groom, and then the paste is sent to the bride’s house along with a NEW SAREE AND A GAMCHHA along with TATTWO- a whole bunch of gifts, garments, fruits, vegetables, snacks and savouries for the entire family, and special gifts for the bride to be.
This is followed by NAANDI-MUKH, where rituals are performed to evoke the spirits of forefathers seeking their blessings for the newlyweds.
Now comes the highlight of the actual wedding ceremony.
As per the calendar, an auspicious time is chosen when the ceremony will take place which is usually in the evening.
The Groom-to-be arrives along with BOR-JATRI- members of the groom’s family, his friends, and relatives, all dressed in their best attire and merrymaking during the whole journey.
BOR BORON: As the groom reaches the destination where the ceremony will take the place-the mother of the bride welcomes the groom with PRODEEP-a holy-earthen lamp, sprinkling trefoil and husked rice and offering sweets and drinks.
POTTO-BOSTRO- The groom is taken to a specially designed area for him to be seated and offered a new set of clothes for the ceremony by an elder member of the family who will later do the SAMPRADAN- offering the responsibility of the bride to the groom.
SAAT PAAK: The bride is carried on a wooden stool by her brothers, while she covers her face with 2 beetle leaves and is brought to meet the groom for the first time and is taken around the groom to complete 7 circles, thus winding them together securely.
SHUBHO DRISHTI: The most romantic part of the wedding, where, while the bride is still seated on the wooden stool, removes the beetle leaves and exchange a loving glance.
MALA BODOL: The bride and groom exchange garlands of fragrant flowers and take the first step of accepting each other.
SHOMPRODAN: Here the bride and groom are taken to the Sanctum Sanctorum, where the priest performs the actual ritual.
The elder member of the family, here hands over to the groom the bride’s hand and its tied with a sacred thread amidst recitals Vedic Chants and they are placed on the MONGOL GHOT- a brass pitcher filled with water and covered with mango leaves, attached to one twig and green coconut placed on it.
HOM/JOGGYO(YAJNA): The bride and groom here sit in front of the sacred fire and chant mantras after the priest and AGNI, the Fire God is made the divine witness to the marriage.
SHOPTOPODI: The most important rite of the whole ceremony to solemnise the occasion. Literally translated as SEVEN STEPS. The bride and groom walk around the fire while taking the 7 vows, keeping the holy pyre as the witness, and promise to be for each other for eternity. In Bengali custom, betel leaves are laid out and the bride walks on it, while the groom pushes a stone with his foot as they move forward, signifying removing obstacles together, from their lives.
ONJALI: An offering of puffed rice is made to AGNI, the FIRE GOD, by the bride and groom together while the groom holds the bride’s hands, and the puffed rice is handed to her by her brother.
SINDOOR DAAN AND GHOMTAA: The other most important rite of the ceremony is the offering of the vermillion by the groom on the bride’s hair parting. During this process, the bride’s face is covered with LOJJA BOSTHRO a new saree, given by the groom’s family.
BASHOR RAAT :
3rd day: POST WEDDING RITUALS :
BIDAAY: Farewell of the bride from her paternal home, which is a very emotional moment – mixed with joy and sorrow, as she has to bid farewell with the blessings of her elders to start a new life with her husband.
BODHU BORON: Once the bride reaches the groom’s home, she is welcomed by the mother in law. As she enters the house for the first time as a bride, she steps on a large dish of milk and aaltaa, and walks on the white sheet and makes her way inside the household and to the kitchen where she watches the overpowering of boiling milk, signifying property and fertility.
KAAL RATRI: After the previous rituals are over, they are separated for a night and can only see each other the next morning.
4th day BOU BHAAT: In the morning, the newly-wed bride cooks and serves all the members of the family. The husband then gifts her Saree and Jewellery along with a large plate of a sumptuous meal, vowing to accept the responsibility of the bride’s basic needs for the rest of her life. This is followed by an elaborate banquet and party in the evening along with the arrival of KONE-JATRI, this time the family members of the bride, who comes to meet their daughter along with gifts for the groom and his family and special gifts for the newly-weds know as PHOOL SHOJJYA TOTTWO.
PHOOL SHOJJA, a literal meaning bed of flowers: To signify the special and first night together as married man and woman, their bed is adorned with flowers and left together to enjoy their conjugal bliss.
Blog by Oindrilla Kundu